I need you all to know that I love food. Food makes me happy. My thighs bear witness. But...
SWEET BABY JESUS.
Please don't eat here. Please.
First impression:
The restaurant looks like an episode of Hoarders. Piles of junk everywhere - when you walk in, junk. Covering the bar, junk. Along the sides of the room, junk junk junk.
Food time!:
We get seated at a rickety ass table, order iced tea. Is it possible for water to rot? Because this was some sour iced tea. It just tasted dirty.
I asked the waitress a question about the sushi, which she couldn't answer because she spoke NO ENGLISH. Which might have been charming, if she only spoke Japanese, but no...she only spoke SPANISH. The 3 English words she did know were "You speak Spanish???" No. Sorry. I don't know how to order my sushi in Spanish.
At this point we should have got up and walked out. Oh, if only...
Mr. Sushi Chef comes by for his visit. He points out some stuff on the menu, and then hand writes a "coupon" for a free roll for our next visit (gotta give him some credit for optimism).
Waitress comes over. We order 2 rolls, some salmon sushi, and a chicken teriyaki bento box. We also tell her we have a gift certificate to use (some http://restaurants.com thing). She says ok, smiles, and takes the gift certificate.
A few minutes later, Mr. Sushi Chef comes by again, pulls out a box of gum, and gives us each a piece. Random, yes, but okay...I like gum. He then says "25 dollar discount?" We say yes, assuming he's referring to the gift certificate, and the dude REACHES ACROSS THE TABLE AND TAKES AWAY THE COUPON HE WROTE US! And he walks away. Such a dick move. SERIOUSLY?!?!
Whoooooooole new level of crap customer service.
My bento box comes first - and its just gross. I mean, even the white rice tasted bad. You know wet dog smell? That's basically how all my food tasted. I had a bite of each thing, gagged out, and then was forced to wash it down with rotten iced tea.
My fiance's sushi came 5 minutes later - he said it was ok and he ate most of it. Towards the end it started catching up to him and he was too grossed out / scared of food poisoning to trust the food and finish it.
The one thing they were good at was bringing us our bill - which was $45. We paid $45 for an hour of misery.
We got in the car, had a discussion about whether or not we should make ourselves throw up, and then stopped at Eatzi's to get some real food.
I think a little bit of my soul died tonight.
